Hi YouTube & Podcast family! Today I want to discuss how making the narcissist miss you will make you healthier, stronger, and happier. Often after you have left your narcissist, or the narcissist has discarded you, you feel really low. You have no self-esteem left. You feel like that especially if they move on with another person right away. You’ll feel like you’re easily replaceable and, not only that, this other person, the new supply is so much better than you. You also might feel that the narcissist has now changed to be this incredibly wonderful person for the new supply, and you feel like you’re worthless. Your self-esteem is going to take a huge hit. When you go out and you accidentally run into the narcissist, you’re going to feel even worse about yourself.
So how do you get that narcissist to regret letting you go or regret leaving you? Part of that has to do with who you are and who you’re going to become. You have to start working on yourself.
I’ll explain a few great hands-on ideas how you can improve yourself, how you can get yourself to the point where when the narcissist sees you in town they’ll think “Wow! How did I let that person go?” There’s something great about that.
If you don’t need that to motivate you to become healthier and stronger and to get over the narcissist, that’s great! However, if you need that motivation then use it! Use that motivation to get you moving in a healthy direction! You don’t want them to catch you when you’re looking your worst right? You want them to catch you looking your best! Every time you leave the house you want to look good, because you might run into the narcissist.
Recently I bought a course that cost me three hundred fifty dollars to improve my brain. The first step in that was to drink water. Drink a whole glass of water first thing when you wake up. The reason for that is it gets the organs moving and it starts to cleanse you out of all the toxins that have been releasing as you’re sleeping. Your cells, as they’re renewing, release toxins in your body. Your body processes these toxins while you’re sleeping, so you want to clean that out. You don’t want to keep all that inside of your body. If your body is dehydrated it’s going to be reprocessing inside of you, and it’s going to be harder for these toxins to come out. If you drink enough, you can flush out a lot of these toxins a lot faster. Do that for yourself.
Water is also great for your brain. Your brain does get dehydrated. You do get foggy in your thinking, especially when you’ve come out of a relationship with a narcissist. Your mind is already foggy. You do not need dehydration to also affect this, so get hydrated and at nighttime go ahead and have a glass of water before bed. I know. I know. You’re thinking “But then I’m going to get up and have to use the bathroom in the middle of the night.” So what? Get up. Use the bathroom in the middle of the night. It’s better for you to go ahead and drink that glass of water because that helps to hydrate your body as you sleep.
Often people won’t drink water for hours before they go to sleep. They start off already dehydrated and they end up getting leg cramps. If you’re susceptible to leg cramps, drink water before you go to sleep.
Another easy tip I have for you is this: if you’re not a vegetable eater (and a lot of us are not) grab a bag of organic carrots the next time you’re at the grocery store and take a carrot with you every day to work. That’s it. Just eat a carrot each day. You will be amazed at how much better you start feeling! You’re getting fiber. You’re getting the vitamins that are in the carrot, and fresh vegetables do so many good things for your body. Generally, people enjoy fresh cut carrots. Don’t get the little baby carrots already peeled and all that. Get real organic whole carrots and slice them into sticks if you want, or coins. Put those in a baggie and just munch on those. You’ll start to see your appetite getting better. Your health is going to start improving. You’re going to start feeling more energy. You’re going to start clearing out your body. Now if you don’t like carrots then do sweet peas, those little snap peas that come in a bag. They’re awesome. They taste so good. They’re snappy, and they make a great little snack in the middle of the day or throughout the day. Sometimes I keep these things in my car as well. I’ll snack on them. The reason I want to tell you about that is because it’s a simple addition to your life.
Another great thing for you is to start exercising. I have good news for you: it does not have to be an hour a day. It does not even have to be an hour every other day. It is as simple as 12 minutes or less a day.
For myself, I started off at probably two minutes a day. All I did for two minutes a day was lunges. I know some people are going to say, “Oh my knees!” though, so if you have knee problems don’t do a full lunge. Look into what you can do that’s similar to a lunge or similar to a squat. Even if it’s a partial squat or it’s a partial lunge, these lunges and squats work on your core muscles. You engage your stomach and you take a step forward and you lunge. Bend your knee and lunge forward, then take another step with your other leg. Bend your knee and lunge forward. Those are lunges. I started off where I could barely do five. It was so painful on my thighs. Then I started doing ten. Then I started doing 30. Then I started doing a hundred. I was able to get up to 120 lunges. I didn’t even realize how good this was for me. I started building ab muscles and my legs became extremely strong.
Now if you don’t want to do anything like that, you can start doing outdoorsy stuff, or indoorsy stuff too. Stuff like yoga. I love to kayak, but the weather is not always great for kayaking. Do something that gets you moving. Join a group of people who also enjoy doing this activity. Whatever it is that you like to do, if it’s swimming, if it’s jogging, if it’s just walking in nature, find that group of people that you can do this with. Now you’re like “Whoa! This is all sounds like super hyped up healthy living!” but what this does is it helps to clear you. It helps to center you. If you want to look your best when you’re out running around town, and you run into the narcissist, they’re going to start wondering what is happening in your life that’s changing you.
I’m telling you, start with even just one of these little steps. Pick one of the things that I just talked about. It is going to start making a difference in your life. You’re going to start feeling better. You must start focusing on you and take the focus off the narcissist.
Another thing I want you to consider is to look in the mirror and see your resting facial expression. I’m not sure how you can catch yourself doing this, but your resting face might not look as approachable as you might think. If you’re just walking around in the store and your face is like, I don’t want to say it, RBF, resting “b__ch” face, this is not very approachable. It makes you look like you’re completely angry and horribly upset with something, when you’re probably not even upset about anything. You’re just wandering around thinking about stuff. Well you know what? It doesn’t make you very approachable when you have this face. You’re wondering why people around you don’t react very well, or people don’t seem to be very excited to see you, or people don’t seem to be very welcoming. Maybe you’re walking around with this resting face that’s not very approachable.
I see this a lot. I see this in the office. I see this on the street. I think these people have no idea how unapproachable they look.
Another thing that my husband will say to me is sometimes I’m “prickly.” Yes, it’s true! I am, and I don’t even realize I’m being prickly because I’m frustrated about something. I let it show in a way that offends another person, or in a way that probably makes them feel like I’m not approachable. So I have to work on not letting things bother me. I need to work on how I look when I’m just relaxing and not offended about anything. When I’m just myself and I feel calm, I should have a calm looking face. That’s the reason you want to look in the mirror and see what kind of face you make.
This next idea sounds so elementary: work on your smile. If you’re a woman, also work on your makeup. Don’t go crazy overboard like a lot of women do today. It’s just far too much makeup, and that also is unapproachable. I want to let you know, if you look too plasticky then a lot of the good guys don’t want to come near that.
When you’re looking good, when you’re feeling good, when you’re resting face is approachable, you’re going to start noticing people around you reacting differently towards you. They’re going to suddenly be more drawn to you. They’re going to suddenly want to do nice things for you. They’ll smile. You’ll start receiving more smiles. You’re going to think “Wow!” People will suddenly react so well to you because you’re showing something that looks good. You’re exuding a healthy inside, and it comes out through how you look on the outside. It’s going to come out through your facial expressions. It’s going to come out through how you walk, how you feel, the confidence you’re going to start carrying.
When you walk around town and you run into that ex narcissist that has been in your life, they’re going to take notice. They are! They’re going to think “Wow, this person looks great. They seem to be happy.” When you’re happy and you know you’re looking pretty good, you’re going to exude some confidence. You’re going to get them to wonder what’s going on in your life that’s making you happier and making you look so good.
Another thing I wanted to say is to consider your wardrobe. Start wearing the things you’ve always wanted to wear. Start paying a little attention to yourself. Splurge a little bit on yourself. Buy quality clothes that make you look good, make you feel good when you’re wandering around, when you’re going to work, or even if you’re going to the grocery store. I’ve heard other YouTubers advise that you want to feel good and look good when you go out, even when inside you’re feeling low and your self-esteem is depleted.
When you start making yourself feel good and look good on the outside, you’ll start to carry a little more confidence. You’ll start to feel a little better about yourself. Part of that is because of the way people react to you, the way people see you. They’re going to feel like you’re more approachable.
The whole reason that I had done this is because a lot of people have mentioned or thought about their narcissistic ex and wanted their narcissistic ex to miss them. Let me tell you the truth. The ex is not going to miss the person who is sloppy and grumpy and unhappy and disheveled, the person who can barely murmur out a hello (not that you have to even say hello to the narcissist). Just be yourself.
Be able to approach other people. If your motivation is to try to get the narcissist to miss you, go ahead use that as a motivation, but do not use that as your goal. You do not want that narcissist back. I want to make that completely clear to you. They can miss you all they want, but you do not want to take them back, ever. I want to stress that because you know how toxic and terrible they had been to you. You have to remember that.
When you take care of yourself, you are going to start feeling better about yourself. You’re going to start attracting the right kind of people into your life. You’re going to start feeling stronger mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I mean things are going to start falling into place for you because you feel good, you look good, inside and out, mentally and physically.
So YouTube & Podcast family I wish you a Happy New Year. This is coming out right before New Year’s, so happy New Year to you! I hope you have a great time tonight and if you are catching this partway through the year you can change at any time. You can implement all these things at any time.
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